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Post by newschooled on Apr 9, 2010 12:58:56 GMT -5
Prove me wrong.
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Helmet
Star
Man Up By Womaning Down
Posts: 567
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Post by Helmet on Apr 9, 2010 13:05:11 GMT -5
"If God didn't want us to eat pigs, why did he invent bacon?"
BOOM.
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Post by Ryan on Apr 9, 2010 13:19:27 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED
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Nakor
Star
Non-Prophet
Posts: 991
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Post by Nakor on Apr 9, 2010 13:28:13 GMT -5
Clearly the Flying Spaghetti Monster would prefer to eat ground beef, not bacon, though He welcomes His followers to eat whatever they like, even if He thinks it's silly.
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Post by newschooled on Apr 9, 2010 13:38:00 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED OMFG WIN!!!
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Post by stephen5000 on Apr 9, 2010 19:43:48 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED mmm I wonder what multidimensional bacon tastes like?
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Post by Lex on Apr 9, 2010 19:52:18 GMT -5
Likely, there is no bacon in God's dimension. However, there may be the dimensional equivalent of bacon, which would undoubtedly kill us all with pleasure/time vortex if we humans were to consume it.
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Post by zAkAtAk on Apr 9, 2010 19:52:40 GMT -5
Clearly the Flying Spaghetti Monster would prefer to eat ground beef, not bacon, though He welcomes His followers to eat whatever they like, even if He thinks it's silly. zAkAtAk likes this.
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Post by Lex on Apr 9, 2010 19:57:14 GMT -5
Clearly the Flying Spaghetti Monster would prefer to eat ground beef, not bacon, though He welcomes His followers to eat whatever they like, even if He thinks it's silly. Is that autocannibalism?
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Post by UnfairBear on Apr 9, 2010 20:01:25 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED Holy crap, you're way too intelligent, stop it. (Don't really)
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Post by metallica210 on Apr 9, 2010 20:05:05 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED god is all powerful (if he was real) and could change the dimensions if he wanted too, so then he could eat bacon
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Post by Lex on Apr 9, 2010 20:06:17 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED god is all powerful (if he was real) and could change the dimensions if he wanted too, so then he could eat bacon Unless God specifically made the rules so that She couldn't break them like that.
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T3CHN0B4BBL3
Moon
Self-proclaimed zombie, trying to a find cure
Posts: 162
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Post by T3CHN0B4BBL3 on Apr 9, 2010 20:06:57 GMT -5
Likely, there is no bacon in God's dimension. However, there may be the dimensional equivalent of bacon, which would undoubtedly kill us all with pleasure/time vortex if we humans were to consume it. Hmm, Jim Gaffigan joke?
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Post by stephen5000 on Apr 9, 2010 20:07:26 GMT -5
From Merriam Webster's definition, God is an ultimate reality. If God were 3,2,1, or 0 dimensional then God would be defined in our reality, or a lesser reality, which is a contradiction to being an ultimate reality, so his dimension is > 3. Bacon is 3 dimensional. It is impossible for an n-dimensional creature to eat a y dimensional object if n>y (you cannot eat a square, you can only eat a 3d form of a square). God does not eat bacon. QED god is all powerful (if he was real) and could change the dimensions if he wanted too, so then he could eat bacon Remember (according to Christians) God made a 3d son. So eating bacon should be easy. At the very least, Jesus eats bacon.
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Post by stephen5000 on Apr 9, 2010 20:08:23 GMT -5
(This is of course all assuming God is not following his own Old Testament law not to eat pigs.)
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Nakor
Star
Non-Prophet
Posts: 991
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Post by Nakor on Apr 9, 2010 21:43:08 GMT -5
Clearly the Flying Spaghetti Monster would prefer to eat ground beef, not bacon, though He welcomes His followers to eat whatever they like, even if He thinks it's silly. Is that autocannibalism? I prefer to think of it more like the ground beef being an ingredient to His holiness. He does not necessarily eat spaghetti, but he may intake ground beef and noodles with which to sustain his pastafarian form. (This explains why there have been so many sightings of cows being abducted by 'aliens' and why quantum theory combined with string theory sees particles randomly disappearing.)
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Post by Ryan on Apr 9, 2010 23:03:29 GMT -5
My proof that God does not eat bacon is based in the definition from Merriam Webster's Dictionary. If any Christian chooses to give me a definition other than that found in the dictionary I will be happy to re-evaluate my proof. Until then - I think it stands proven that God does not eat bacon.
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Post by Lex on Apr 9, 2010 23:15:53 GMT -5
Likely, there is no bacon in God's dimension. However, there may be the dimensional equivalent of bacon, which would undoubtedly kill us all with pleasure/time vortex if we humans were to consume it. Hmm, Jim Gaffigan joke? No.
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Post by newschooled on Apr 9, 2010 23:53:58 GMT -5
My proof that God does not eat bacon is based in the definition from Merriam Webster's Dictionary. If any Christian chooses to give me a definition other than that found in the dictionary I will be happy to re-evaluate my proof. Until then - I think it stands proven that God does not eat bacon. It's really the best route of speculation just because there is no observable proof to dictate otherwise. (Granted, there's scripture - But that is also speculation rather than definitive proof.)
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Post by Ryan on Apr 10, 2010 0:03:04 GMT -5
scripture is a description of God, not a definition of God. To illustrate this point:
A human typically, has 2 legs, 2 arms, a head, has hair all over their body, but not fur, and most of the hair is really really short, except for in certain places. Humans are capable of great emotion, live in large societies, are capable of warfare, and also in peaceful debate. Humans tend to be kind, but also greedy. They have capacity for great love, and also great hatred and anger.
vs.
A human is: a bipedal primate mammal of species and genus Homo Sapiens Sapiens
One is a description, one is a definition.
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