I really need advice.

[emmyschae]

(Just a warning, this is a fairly adult topic.)

So my mom is remarrying, and I always found the guy... tolerable. I was never especially fond of him, but I could deal with it. Until today.

I was looking at the computer's history today, and there were several porn sites. Now, that's bad enough, but at least it was something I could maybe let go under the radar, just to avoid conflict and what not. But, that's not the only thing. Adult FriendFinder was also under the history. What the hell should I do?

If I don't tell, I'll feel bad for probably forever. I won't be able to ever talk to him again without wanting to punch him (though that would happen even if I did tell). In the long run, it might get bad.

But I don't want to tell. I have no idea how to approach my mom about the subject. I have enough difficulty talking to her anyway. I may not like my mom, but I hate seeing people upset. And if this is as bad as I think it is, the yelling is going to start. I don't like the yelling. Four years later and I still remember it.

Their wedding is in May, and I think they've already paid for a lot of things. I don't know how bad this is, but I feel like it's pretty bad. I'm scared and confused and I have no idea what to do.

Advice would be majorly appreciated.

[Benyamin]

I think you should definitely tell your mom. I think that the consequences of her finding out for herself after a while would be 50 times worse than if you told her ASAP. Hope it helped

[Rob]

Are you sure he was USING AdultFriendFinder, or was it merely the result of another porn site? A lot of the time, AdultFriendFinder likes to pop up underneath other sites.

If he's actually USING the service, simply ask him about it. See how that goes. If it turns into something like a huge mess, just tell your mom exactly what happened. That's what I think you should do, anyway.

[Trey]

Yeahhh *erm* adultfriendfinder can be a pretty *Cough* common pop up when one might hypothetically be browsing the internet for videos depicting *erm* erotic material..

Yeahhh, lol

He's probably not hooking up or anything. It's probably just a pop up

[click3tyclick]

Yeah. The Facebook of sex pops up all the time at night. That doesn't mean I use it.

[Breepop]

Meh, I've had Adult FriendFinder pop up for me in the most random places, not even "porn" sites. It's easy to just be like "AHHH EFF OFF" and randomly click in the small area that isn't a red X.

And even if he was browsing the site, that doesn't mean he is using it. I'm sure they have random hott sexi pix, rite? I dunno, I'm too scared to go there and check out what the format is exactly, but I imagine tons of people do nothing more than browse, never actually "finding a friend."


Porn isn't a big deal, either. I obviously don't know this guy or your mother, but there's a rather significant chance that your mother knows he watches porn, and just doesn't care (or wouldn't care if she did know). Personally, it's not something I'd get worked up about in a relationship, and she could be the same way.

On the other hand, he's kind of daft for not deleting history. Or using incognito. ;x

[speedlearner]

Just tell your mom the facts without posing any accusations. If you don't accuse him of anything, he may not be so defensive and he may be able to explain what he was doing. Of course he may lie about what he was doing, and that would be unfortunate, but that's a chance everyone has to take. The truth will come out in the end, one way or another. So presenting facts without accusations would be the best approach. No harm in being inquizitive as long as you don't turn it into a crime scene investigation.

[Deleted]

yeah, adult friend finder can be used for.. other stuff as well.

[Helmet]

I would take a screen cap, for evidence, then alert your mom, if she still loves him, let them be, if not... you might want to get some earplugs, there might be a very loud argument coming up...

[Adrian (123easyway)]

Tell your mum, and let him fend for himself. If their relationship is solid enough, he'll get a slapped wrist, if not then it'll go the way it needs to go.

To approach her: Feel like your dragging her aside. Even if your not, it'll feel alot more natural for both of you to start talking about the rather unsavoury topic.

Good Luck

[Jake]

Does the History show more in detail how much he used Adult Friend Finder? If it looks like just one page, then it's probably just an advert, if it's a whole load of them then it may be something to worry about.

[TheIslander]

Not sure what it is used for on account of I have never used it myself, either way you should speak to your mother. She IS after all, your mother