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Post by foxtrot on Jul 25, 2010 8:29:26 GMT -5
Hey guise, So last night my girlfriend and I were chatting and like, she said I was really boring. :l It all started with me telling her about what I did the night before at the cinema (movie theatre). She said, "Me and [my best friend] do crazier things than you and I consider us mellow, why are you so boring?". She said I was always the same, nothing ever changed and that my "shine" was beginning to fade. "I ask you how you're doing and you just say 'Good', not 'amazing', not 'fabulous', not 'shitty', not 'meh' just 'good'. I don't even have to ask you waht you did cause you just sat around eating crap and watching TV, maybe hanging out with a friend. It's never, 'I pissed in the street because I felt like it', 'got into a fight', 'got suspended' or anything like that." Then she suggested breaking up... we spoke briefly and then we started getting make to normal conversation. She wrote on my Facebook this morning that she loved me, in a fit of craziness. xD But really. I totally agree with her. I'm just finding it hard to "be more interesting" and "dream bigger". I think I'm pretty interesting, but how I feel is interesting, not neccesarily what I do. And the whole dream bigger thing... that's sorta opened my eyes a little bit. For a while now, I've always thought, "freelance programmer -- I can do it and it's easy and it tends to pay well" but now I'm considering other options. I really love this girl and I know she really loves me, but I can see where she's coming from. I just... don't know HOW to think interesting thoughts? Like, they don't come to be naturally. I have a pretty linear way of thinking -- "this to this to this" not "this and this and this". I was wondering if you guys had advice/ways to "train" myself to think interesting thoughts and dream bigger. I think I really did use to be this person she describes, about a year ago, but I suffer from depression, OCD, anxiety attacks and autism -- over the past year or two I've been on a pretty big downer, until I met her. I don't know if there's a general answer to WHY I don't do these things she describes -- I'm 14, I have no money, no access to travel (a lot of the time), closest friends are 5.9 miles away, I can't ride a bike, I don't own a bike, parents don't let me on the bus and a live in a boring village. She lives in the big city. It confuses me! /rant  |
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Yokailo
Star
[AWD:020307]
I like things.
Posts: 734
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Post by Yokailo on Jul 25, 2010 10:26:30 GMT -5
How about proposing crazy things to do with her? Not necessarily crazy, just.. different. Recently, me and my boyfriend have baked cookies and played minigolf. It's great to do stuff like that, and even though it's not that hard to make up, and it does make you feel unique.  Until we found out other people have done that a lot, too. Oh well. If you're autistic, maybe you're not the type of person to go do stuff with other people, but think of fun stuff to do with her. It really does help, and you don't have to get into fights xD |
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Post by Breepop on Jul 25, 2010 12:36:02 GMT -5
"It's never, 'I pissed in the street because I felt like it', 'got into a fight', 'got suspended' or anything like that." Sounds like she's more into bad boys, and you just aren't one. ;p It's great to want to better yourself, but I wouldn't suggest pissing in the street, getting into a fight, or getting suspended to impress a girl. Especially at such a young age. In other words, if it takes you doing illegal/immoral things for her to find you interesting, forget it. >_> Try to do something brand new every once in a while (with or without her). Like going ice skating/roller blading, getting lost in the woods, baking/cooking something you don't know how to bake/cook, playing a prank on a friend/family member, climbing a huge tree, etc. |
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Post by bombmaniac on Jul 25, 2010 13:02:12 GMT -5
OR PWNING N00BS AND GETTING EPPIC WINS IN WoW!!!
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Post by chelseeyuh on Jul 25, 2010 14:30:56 GMT -5
"It's never, 'I pissed in the street because I felt like it', 'got into a fight', 'got suspended' or anything like that." Sounds like she's more into bad boys, and you just aren't one. ;p It's great to want to better yourself, but I wouldn't suggest pissing in the street, getting into a fight, or getting suspended to impress a girl. Especially at such a young age. In other words, if it takes you doing illegal/immoral things for her to find you interesting, forget it. >_> Try to do something brand new every once in a while (with or without her). Like going ice skating/roller blading, getting lost in the woods, baking/cooking something you don't know how to bake/cook, playing a prank on a friend/family member, climbing a huge tree, etc. This. If what she said legitimately made you reevaluate your actions and to be more whimsical, then you should. But you shouldn't change yourself to make her want to stay with you. Especially if that means doing ridiculously stupid things. You're young. It's pretty inevitable that you'll break up anyway. You shouldn't waste your time with someone who doesn't like you for who you are. K, that wasn't really the advice you asked for, but that's my 2 cents :\ |
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Post by foxtrot on Jul 25, 2010 15:33:30 GMT -5
Yokailo: We rarely see each-other because she lives far away from me. That's why we tend to talk to each-other a lot online and through webcam. I mean, we always try and find new ways to communicate with each-other and do interesting things online. Thanks. Breepop: Haha, yeah, she is into bad boys but I think it's deeper than that. She's extremely passionate about life. It's not that fact that I don't do these things often, she's just talking about how routine my life is -- that I never do anything spontaneous or just follow where my feelings take me; I don't live my life to its full potential. She's the type of girl that will say what she thinks when she thinks, do what she wants when she wants as long as that's how she feels. That's something I aspire to - I don't desire to conform to it. I know she loves me just the way I am, she's told me so many a time and if she didn't she would've left me months ago. Cheers, that's given me some insight.  Chelsea: Yeah I want to become more "whimsical" and live life a bit more freely, listen to my heart a bit more rather than my brain. But yeah, read above, it applis to your response too. Thanks for the 2 cents.
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shelby
Moon
"When life gives you muffins, eat them."
Posts: 161
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Post by shelby on Jul 25, 2010 21:23:13 GMT -5
Just be yourself!
That is my pathetic advice
(Unless you are a prick)
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Post by 4iner on Jul 26, 2010 21:59:55 GMT -5
The only thing that's concerning is that she actually suggested breaking up because of this, which just doesn't fit with the description of her you gave. Idk what's going on.:
"She's extremely passionate about life. It's not that fact that I don't do these things often, she's just talking about how routine my life is -- that I never do anything spontaneous or just follow where my feelings take me; I don't live my life to its full potential.
She's the type of girl that will say what she thinks when she thinks, do what she wants when she wants as long as that's how she feels. That's something I aspire to - I don't desire to conform to it. I know she loves me just the way I am, she's told me so many a time"
I could understand why your girlfriend would want you to do stuff besides the normal routine, but it's hard for me to grasp how your girlfriend could have deep love for you for who you are, but at the same time consider separating herself from you simply because of this.
As for idea's on something interesting to do, just sit down in a quiet place and, for a while, think about what you would want to do if your doctor told you you were going to die in one week. Do that stuff over the course of the next week.
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theeverbored
Meteor
if a nerd has no avatar, does she still have a face?
Posts: 81
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Post by theeverbored on Jul 27, 2010 0:32:10 GMT -5
If she's having all these crazy adventures why doesn't she take you with her sometime? Why don't you two do something she thinks is fun? Then if you don't like it, she's not your type. And you're only 14, of course you have to find yourself still. You're becoming an adult over the next few years, give it time. As for trying not to be boring, people sometimes confuse fun with recklessness you can have plenty of fun and adventure in your life without getting hurt or thown in jail. If you want to do something interesting or dream big then do it! There's no hard fast rule about it. Do what you've always wanted to do...if you don't know what you want to do then learn about people and cultures and what cool things people are doing. Try the legal and safe ones Basically I'm saying work on being you, not what you think people want (or your gf) |
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Post by Rogers91 on Jul 27, 2010 1:39:26 GMT -5
so kids start dating at 14 now... i feel more pathetic than i thought.
well uhh here is my experience level for you to better understand where my opinion comes from:
*i didn't have many friends growing up and through the end of elementary school and half of middle i was home schooled and on heavy doses of Ritalin. then they found out they miss diagnosed me and all they where doing was getting a small child high every day to the point of almost blacking out.(i cant remember any of the time that i was being drugged. before and after no problem but my sisters birth and my dogs death never happened to me)i didn't make actual friends till i was 15 and i didn't get a girl friend till i was 17. now i am single and have pushed allot of my friends away cause they are into getting drunk and i would rather well do almost anything else.*
so my advice to you is fairly simple.
-your young and have no idea what you want to do or be. life will go on and you will figure it out. (having an idea in your head though isn't a bad idea.)
-do what you like to do be happy and live how you wish. if she cant seem to handle your slightly boring life just remember that you cant drive and you don't have a job. (these are the days i wish i could go back to.)
-you are at the most care free time in your life. (enjoy it cause it will be gone so fast)
-if you do want to do something exciting and different then simply look around and see what could use some sort of improvement or fixing. look up how to do so online and then work on what ever it is.
if your bed happens to have a bad leg look into how to fix it using house hold items. another idea is to walk outside and go talk to your neighbors see who you live around and try to be friends with them. (even an group of old people can be interesting)
-another good way to seem interesting is to lie and bullshit a story. (its not for everyone but if you have nothing then at the least use some fancy words and make "i woke up and ate pancakes"into "i awoke from my slumber to the enticing scent of maple")
if you need other ideas i can try to come up with some more later but it is now 3am and i have to work in the morning so uhh yeah..
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Skwiggs
Moon
[AWD:1902181c]
Look Deeper.
Posts: 201
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Post by Skwiggs on Jul 27, 2010 3:41:37 GMT -5
"be more interesting" "be more whimsical" "i'm a 14yr old autistic that enjoys programming" ... hmmm Well first off, i'd suggest to keep going with the programming thing. i know of a software development company that hires ONLY people with Autism. BUT back to topic If you feel you want to change (for yourself in general, not just her praise) then you probalyl do need to do something. My idea is to pick up a musical instrument. (preferably something that you can play anywhere) The "how was your day" thing could be answered with "want to hear?" and then play a song you just got the hang of (since you most likely will have the sheet music with) or even about a new place you found to practice at. Specific pros: *Programmer fingers learn fingering patterns fast. *Writing your own songs shows depth of the soul. *can be a great way to blow off steam. *is a skill you can use whenever situational con: *it's not really a "badboy" thing *practicing can be hard but, you get better at stuff by failing and learning from it, not from succeeding (even though the latter feels better ) Eitherway you can never go wrong by expanding your mind and skill sets Take Care |
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Post by Johncoyne on Aug 3, 2010 13:47:05 GMT -5
Buy a ukulele
Cook dinner tonight
Buy bright red converse
Vlog
Repaint your room
Make your own peanut butter
Listen to a new band
Buy a new board game
Learn a new word every day
Use that word three times the next day
Those things will make you less boring fo' sho'.
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Post by phlegmem on Aug 4, 2010 4:17:07 GMT -5
rob a cemetery high...
don't give it so much thought, if 'interesting' doesn't come naturally, it's nooot you
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