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Post by NormanTheOne on Aug 5, 2010 0:37:08 GMT -5
This isn't a thread for people to moan about how strict their parents are. At times I personally disagree with how strict my parents are, but when I think about if I was to be a parent, how strict would I be, and yeah this is what I came up with.
If I am to be a parent, then I would not let my child go out to town until the age of 12/13. Drinking until 16, smoking I would not alllow, weed is also a no-no. If it would come to dating it's all up to her/him unless he/she is clearly naive and overly committed or some extreme case. As for sleeping, I would monitor it until around 14-ish.
How about you? If you were to be a parent, or if you are a parent, how strict would you be with your children? There are a lot of things to mention but attempt to keep it to the basics.
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Post by Benyamin on Aug 5, 2010 0:44:51 GMT -5
going to town-12 as long as with friends drinking- hopefully none no weed no smoking dating- let him/her decide (hopefully the child will be smart enough sleeping- 8 hours until enters high school
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Post by Lex on Aug 5, 2010 1:25:58 GMT -5
I'm never raising kids. Ever.
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Post by Benyamin on Aug 5, 2010 1:58:18 GMT -5
why not?
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Post by Lex on Aug 5, 2010 3:17:51 GMT -5
In all honesty, I don't like kids.
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7
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Post by 7 on Aug 5, 2010 7:32:41 GMT -5
This isn't a thread for people to moan about how strict their parents are. At times I personally disagree with how strict my parents are, but when I think about if I was to be a parent, how strict would I be, and yeah this is what I came up with. If I am to be a parent, then I would not let my child go out to town until the age of 12/13. Drinking until 16, smoking I would not alllow, weed is also a no-no. If it would come to dating it's all up to her/him unless he/she is clearly naive and overly committed or some extreme case. As for sleeping, I would monitor it until around 14-ish. How about you? If you were to be a parent, or if you are a parent, how strict would you be with your children? There are a lot of things to mention but attempt to keep it to the basics. Alcohol is a great deal more harmful then Marijuana. It is also statisically more addictive. They don't have Marijuana Anonymous, but they have Alcoholic Anonymous. You should get your facts straight. If anything, you'd let your child smoke weed but not drink. Also, most of those "harm" points for Marijuana involve people using it with other drugs or driving under the influence. Alcohol kills your liver, where as Marijuana doesn't do anything harmful to you on your own, and only skews the judgment of a complete idiot. Alcohol turns the most intelligent people into complete morons. Having the freedom and the availability to all sorts of drugs has given me, personally, a more intelligent outlook on life and a firmer grasp on reality. When your 'reality' is temporarily muddled, you become more perceptive in the long run (OR so it worked with me.) I think the most a parent can do is allow their children to make their own personal decisions. Pointlessly restricting to them will only cause them to rebel. I'm not blind to the harms of drugs. I've lost several friend's lives to heroin (Something I would never try) but restricting your children and telling them things like "Drinking is okay, but don't smoke weed" will only breed more ignorance and I can bet 1000 times that you only think the way you do because your parents drilled that nonsense into your brain.
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Post by NormanTheOne on Aug 5, 2010 7:42:34 GMT -5
This isn't the thread for that. It's my personal opinion, that's all there is to it.
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7
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Post by 7 on Aug 5, 2010 7:44:02 GMT -5
This is a debate thread. I'm debating. If you can't argue your points, you've only proven me correct in my arguments. You know a debate thread is a waste of time when the OP isn't even willing to argue his points.
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Post by Joey on Aug 5, 2010 13:15:03 GMT -5
going to town-12 as long as with friends drinking- None, at all, until 21, then I hope they will be smart. I have a family history of alcohol problems. no weed no smoking dating- let him/her decide, hopefully around high school(I must approve, though I would want them to be open ie not hide it) sleeping- A normal sleeping schedule, set high school curfew around midnight depending on activities
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bullskitur
Planet
Intelligence requires not confusing what you believe with what you know
Posts: 306
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Post by bullskitur on Aug 5, 2010 14:10:39 GMT -5
This is a debate thread. I'm debating. If you can't argue your points, you've only proven me correct in my arguments. You know a debate thread is a waste of time when the OP isn't even willing to argue his points. I'm with Norman on this. It's considered common knowledge that marijuana is less harmful than drinking, but unless I'm raising my kid in Amsterdam it's also illegal and I wouldn't want my kid getting into trouble or thinking it's okay to break the law. As for drinking I would try to keep him away from that until he's old enough to buy it himself.
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Post by NormanTheOne on Aug 5, 2010 14:12:56 GMT -5
Yeah and in CZ drinking is legal already at 18, so 16 isn't that bad.
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Post by Sean on Aug 5, 2010 14:33:30 GMT -5
No kids, annoying and demanding with no benefit.
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7
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Post by 7 on Aug 5, 2010 14:37:53 GMT -5
Yeah and in CZ drinking is legal already at 18, so 16 isn't that bad. So as long as it's legal, it's okay. Thank god cocaine isn't legal. You'd jump on that horse in a heartbeat and break a line with your kids after dinner.
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Post by NormanTheOne on Aug 5, 2010 21:13:18 GMT -5
Take it easy, I mean weed would be fine at 18 if it was legal, but it isn't so there's an issue. Cocaine is too much.
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Post by Alex on Aug 5, 2010 22:19:08 GMT -5
I am not going to have kids. If I were to though, I'd probably be very strict and nosy.
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bullskitur
Planet
Intelligence requires not confusing what you believe with what you know
Posts: 306
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Post by bullskitur on Aug 5, 2010 23:10:32 GMT -5
Yeah and in CZ drinking is legal already at 18, so 16 isn't that bad. So as long as it's legal, it's okay. Thank god cocaine isn't legal. You'd jump on that horse in a heartbeat and break a line with your kids after dinner. Just because it's legal doesn't make it okay, but when it's illegal then it isn't okay. In my book breaking the law is only okay when it is to save a life or few other extreme cases. It's not okay to break the law just so you can get high.
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Post by thequirkyduo on Aug 5, 2010 23:17:44 GMT -5
I don't plan on ever having kids. I'm too greedy and self-centered.
But if I was to have kids I'd be pretty strict with them: No drinking, No smoking, (I don't know what this going to town thing is because I live in Alaska... there isn't much town to go to), No dating until high school, and as for sleeping I don't care.
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thelighterdark
Planet
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne [Tim Robbins], The Shawshawnk Redemption, 1994
Posts: 374
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Post by thelighterdark on Aug 6, 2010 0:15:02 GMT -5
I would be pretty easy with them.
I want them to live the life they need to live. I want them to study and do well in school (however far they choose to go past high school), but I want them to make all decisions and necessary steps to get there by themselves.
As far as drinking and all that goes, if it's against American law then it's against the law, no denying that. It's their choice to illegally do it, but I won't help supply them with something of the sort.
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Post by rialvestro on Aug 6, 2010 16:05:37 GMT -5
For starters I will never have biological children of my own because I've deemed this world to be too unsafe for them to live in. I love kids and if I thought I could raise them the best way I know to keep them happy I would. I just fear they'd be like me and just be miserable and in pain all their lives.
I believe that the parent is the role model and that you shouldn't do anything to your kids that you wouldn't like done to you. The role model thing means that parents should follow the same rules they set for kids. For example if you don't want your kids to cuss then you can't cuss. Kids will follow your actions more than your words. I also believe in the punishment and reward system.
That being said I actually don't have a problem with cussing. I believe they're just words but I'm going to censor myself for anyone who might find this next part offensive. I never understand why $h!t is so bad to say when it means the same thing as poop and poop is OK to say. If it means the same what difference does it make? The only thing I wouldn't allow is any language directed as an insult at another person. In other words to me it's better to say "$h!t I just stubbed my toe! That tnck!u6 hurt!" than to say "I hate you, you're a stinky do-do head."
If a child of mine did insult another person then that person would have the option to insult my child back, show them it's not nice to make fun of people, my child would have to apologize to the person they insulted, and/or they will have to remain mute for a given period of time. No talking for 10 min. unless it's an emergency, and an extra 5 min. added every time they break silence.
As for bed times, being an insomniac myself going to bed on schedule is impossible for me so I wouldn't have bed times in my house. I'd just let them go to sleep when they're ready. Now personally I would want them to be home schooled so that they don't need to be up so freaking early to get to school on time. They can sleep in and work on their own time so long as they get their school work done I don't care when they do it.
If I see one of my kids is falling behind on school work then I'd make my kid go to a regular school to catch up and that child would have to go to bed 10 hours before he or she starts school the next day. This to me is a punishment.
I believe that school is to prepare you for work so I'd treat it like a real job and pay my kids to do their school work. The higher their grades the more money they can earn. Of course I wouldn't pay them for anything lower than C's. If they're getting any D's than they're not getting paid at all, and I'll warn then that a single F will get them sent to regular school. Exactly how much they get paid would depend on how much their mother and I were making and it wouldn't all go directly to them. The for a 5 year old, I'd let handle $5 a month on their own and put the rest (if there is any more) into a bank account in their name that they can withdraw from when they turn 18. As they get older and learn more about the value of money I'd let them handle more of their own money. The amount I pay them at a time will always be = to their age and per month till they turn 10 then I'll pay them per week till they turn 18. I'll still pay them till they graduate high school but at 18 they will be able to withdraw the money stored in their bank account so I won't keep control over how much they can spend at that point. I'd also give them a bonus for their birthdays and Christmas so they'd actually get to handle double what they normally would. And of course when they get their first jobs in high school I'm not going to take that money away from them so they'll have more than just the $17 or $34 a week I give them. (and again that's even if I can afford to give them that much.)
Drugs and alcohol of any kind would be banned unless it's prescription and even then I'd monitor to make sure they were taking only the required dose.
This one I'd be a little lighter on the punishment part because I've done it myself. Rather than a punishment I'd find out the reasons why they started first and calmly talk them into quitting on their own.
As for going out with friends and dating. I would want to meet them of course but other than that I wouldn't have any rules about who they can and can't hang out with. The only way I wouldn't let them hang out is if I met them and could tell that they were drunk or high and even then I'd go talk to the kids parents before I judged the kid.
When it comes to the dating aspect. I'd be honest with them very early on about sex and just hope I've taught them well enough to make the right choices. I wouldn't hide the opposite gender from them and wait till they're teenagers to talk to them because by that time weather you talk to them or not they're going to figure it out. It's just better sooner than later I think. So not only would I talk to them but if there were kids their age of the opposite gender than my own, with their parents permission, I'd go ahead and let them sleep, bath, and generally fool around together while they're still young enough to be curious but not actually be able to reproduce.
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Post by Joey on Aug 6, 2010 21:24:59 GMT -5
I'm surprised that so many people dont want kids here. I see how some people don't want to bring them into a bad life, but for anyone that could take care of a child, but dosent want to, I dont see any logic. Having kids is on my list of things I want in life. It is a completely serious list.
1. Fall in Love with a Girl and get Married(Love that is everlasting) 2. Have Kids 3. Change the World(Whether it be to one person, or millions, I will do it)
Dont you want to have kids, to be proud of, to show them the world, to watch them grow up, to be a role model, to be a parent, to say "My kid did this, that is mine!"
I know I do.
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