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Post by swan on Apr 26, 2010 17:35:14 GMT -5
The thing about make up is you either notice it or you don't. If you do notice a girl is wearing it (assuming that you're not intentionally looking for it), it's distracting and kinda unattractive. If you don't notice it, there's nothing distracting you and it means the make up is doing its job, making the girl more attractive (presumably at least). The only analogy I can think of is how in hockey you know a defenseman is having a good game when you don't notice him, since it means he's doing his job and not making any mistakes (not the most accessible analogy but I think it fits).
As for feelings, I generally don't like to talk about my feelings with anyone unless I trust them a lot, not because talking about feelings is "unmanly" but because I find it to be incredibly personal. As for showing affection, I think it would be societally acceptable in certain situations among close friends, but I don't think it's something you could get a way with on a consistent basis.
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 26, 2010 18:23:09 GMT -5
rialvestro, The point of wearing make-up than looks like you're not wearing any is so that it looks natural and not clown-like, while subtly covering imperfections and accentuating features. So anyway.. guys: how do you feel about expressing your emotions? Do you feel that you shouldn't because society frowns upon it, or do you genuinely not want to (or not have feelings to express? )? And what about showing affection for friends by hugging or saying you love them? Do you think your society is accepting of this behavior in men? Part 1. You realize that guys will never notice this right? And even if he did would really want a guy to like you because of fake features or do you want him to accept you as you really are? It's kinda the same thing as trying to make your breast look bigger. If you get a boob job they don't look natural and if you're wearing a padded bra, that only works until you get serious so you're basically lieing about your size. I don't know how many guys would agree with me about this but I'd take a flat chested girl with no make-up before I'd take some fake girl with huge tits and make-up. I just don't find fake to be attractive. Not saying I wouldn't want a girl with huge boobs if they were real just saying I'll take a real girl over a fake one any day. (pluse I'm afraid girls with breast implants are really men with sex changes.) Part 2. Of course men have feelings, we just tend to find it embarrassing to exspress them... or at least I do... I'm not sure why I find it embarrassing. I think it's because other kids use to make fun of me when I was little... I cried alot... Anyway... as for showing affection for friends. That's something I've been working on for the last couple of years. I'm really shy when it comes to that stuff and I never really use to hug people ever or say I love you. For a long time I thought that was kinda... well something boyfriends and girlfriends do togeather so it felt awkward to hug someone or say I love you to someone that I wasn't romantically interested in. Of course as a child I just thought it was gross mushy stuff and wanted nothing to do with it. As I was growing up most of my friends were guys and that's not something guys do with eachother. The only time I really ever hung out with girls was before I was old enough to start school because most of the kids in my neiborhood were girls. So anyway... when I started doing theater in high school I started hanging out with people outside my normal group and ended with alot of friends both guys and girls and everyone was very huggy. Durring rehersal for one of the shows I was in, my great grandmother was very sick at the time and talking about death, I eventually broke down back stage and one of the girls back stage saw me crying, sat next to me, asked what was wrong, and gave me a hug. To make this moment even more awkward, this was the first time I had ever met this girl. I would say her name but it's quite possible that everyone knows who she is because of a movie that was made about her mom. Don't ask. Anyway, as for the whole "I love you" thing. I realize there are more than just one kind of love but I'm always afraid if I say it that they're going to take it the wrong way and think I'm actully IN love with them. Couple years ago hear a straight guy say to another straight guy "I love you, but not in a gay way." to which he responded "I sure hope not, you're way too young for me anyway." They were something like 15 and 50. I've adapted that line a little bit and have taken to saying "I love as a friend" Or if I know they understand what I mean without having to specify that I'll say "I love you". My first girlfriend I made a point to exsplain to her that I wasn't in love with her but could be given time and I'd say "I love you" to mean "I care about you". She just said "I know that." So with her I can say it without any confusion though when I said it in front of my family I got 3 different lectures about how it's not possible to love someone after we've only dated for 2 days. My second girlfriend was part of that bunch and even after I told her what it ment she still doesn't understand the meaning so I spicifically say "as a friend" whenever I tell her I love her. I started dateing her a little over a year after I broke up with the first. And I'm still friends with both of them but not dating either of them now. Anyway... I'm not going to say what or why but I will say there was an event that happened a couple years ago that made me afraid I would never see my family again so ever sense I got out of that situation I've been making an effort to get out of that uncomfterble state I was in and let them know how much I care about them. BTW when I say "family" not everyone I consider family is actully related to me. The theater is part of my family, or rather the people in it. My brother, the one with kids, is actully just a guy I've known sense 3rd grade. The only real blood related siblings I have are my older brother with a mental dissorder and a younger sibling who died durring birth. So to answer your main question "Do you feel that you shouldn't because society frowns upon it" I do feel that some people do frown upon it. To answer the other part, it's not that I don't want to it's just that I'm shy and it makes me kind of uncomfterble. I do want to exspress myself especially to let my family know how much I love them.
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Post by mashuga31 on Apr 26, 2010 19:24:50 GMT -5
Wearing Make-up still is not masculin... and honestly don't really like it when girls wear it either. It's kinda gross... I can't even eat with lip stick on, no way I'm going to kiss you wearing that crap. (yes I have worn lip stick before, not by choice.) Why isn't wearing make-up masculine? I think eyeliner on guys is sexy *searches around in haste*
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Post by chelseeyuh on Apr 28, 2010 20:11:01 GMT -5
Part 1. You realize that guys will never notice this right? And even if he did would really want a guy to like you because of fake features or do you want him to accept you as you really are? It's kinda the same thing as trying to make your breast look bigger. If you get a boob job they don't look natural and if you're wearing a padded bra, that only works until you get serious so you're basically lieing about your size. I wasn't saying that I agree with it.. I'm just saying that I understand, and since you asked, I might as well explain As I was growing up most of my friends were guys and that's not something guys do with eachother. That was the point.. My female friends and I can hug, hold hands, say "I love you," give each other a kiss on the cheek, etc. without it being weird.. That's just normal for girls, I guess.. But WHY is it so strange for guys to do it?
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Post by stephen5000 on Apr 28, 2010 20:31:40 GMT -5
That was the point.. My female friends and I can hug, hold hands, say "I love you," give each other a kiss on the cheek, etc. without it being weird.. That's just normal for girls, I guess.. But WHY is it so strange for guys to do it? Tradition? (Though personally I'd never do that stuff anyway. I'm terrified of any sort of intimacy; I don't even like shaking hands)
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 29, 2010 12:04:42 GMT -5
As I was growing up most of my friends were guys and that's not something guys do with eachother. That was the point.. My female friends and I can hug, hold hands, say "I love you," give each other a kiss on the cheek, etc. without it being weird.. That's just normal for girls, I guess.. But WHY is it so strange for guys to do it? Hugging is one thing, but kissing another guy and holding hands is very very gay. See guys always wander how you can tell if a girl is a lesbian when even the straight girls kiss eachother.
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Post by chelseeyuh on Apr 29, 2010 15:38:33 GMT -5
That was the point.. My female friends and I can hug, hold hands, say "I love you," give each other a kiss on the cheek, etc. without it being weird.. That's just normal for girls, I guess.. But WHY is it so strange for guys to do it? Hugging is one thing, but kissing another guy and holding hands is very very gay. See guys always wander how you can tell if a girl is a lesbian when even the straight girls kiss eachother. Why? You kiss your parents, don't you? Why is it okay to kiss someone of the same sex if they're in your family, but not okay if they're just a friend? I'm closer to my friends than I am to my family, so why should our lack of familial relations matter?
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 29, 2010 15:57:50 GMT -5
Hugging is one thing, but kissing another guy and holding hands is very very gay. See guys always wander how you can tell if a girl is a lesbian when even the straight girls kiss eachother. Why? You kiss your parents, don't you? Why is it okay to kiss someone of the same sex if they're in your family, but not okay if they're just a friend? I'm closer to my friends than I am to my family, so why should our lack of familial relations matter? Lets put it this way, would you kiss your male friends if you're not dating them? From what I've seen, girls seem to be more comfterble kissing eachother than kissing boys. The only time I see a girl kiss a boy is when they're dateing not when they're just friends. If you can't kiss a boy who is only a friend how can you do it to another girl?
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Post by chelseeyuh on Apr 29, 2010 16:04:57 GMT -5
Why? You kiss your parents, don't you? Why is it okay to kiss someone of the same sex if they're in your family, but not okay if they're just a friend? I'm closer to my friends than I am to my family, so why should our lack of familial relations matter? Lets put it this way, would you kiss your male friends if you're not dating them? From what I've seen, girls seem to be more comfterble kissing eachother than kissing boys. The only time I see a girl kiss a boy is when they're dateing not when they're just friends. If you can't kiss a boy who is only a friend how can you do it to another girl? Yes, I would, and do, kiss my male friends.
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Post by thejourney on Apr 29, 2010 16:28:00 GMT -5
a man is a man if he is supposed to bring home the bacon and he brings home some bacon a man should also protect those weeker than him and help those in need
this sounds kinda sexist doesnt it?
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 29, 2010 16:53:39 GMT -5
Lets put it this way, would you kiss your male friends if you're not dating them? From what I've seen, girls seem to be more comfortable kissing each other than kissing boys. The only time I see a girl kiss a boy is when they're dating not when they're just friends. If you can't kiss a boy who is only a friend how can you do it to another girl? Yes, I would, and do, kiss my male friends. Well that was unexspected... Well I've never seen any of the girls I know kiss their male friends, only their female friends. Maybe I just find hugging more acceptable because I commonly see it more than kissing. Kissing seems kinda intimate between man and woman or comforting between child and guardian nothing else. Kissing between two men is just gay. Between brother and sister is kinda incest. Between man and woman who are only friends is I wanna be more than friends. If you and I knew each other in real life, we're just friends, and you kissed me, you'd end up leaving me frozen unable to move or speak with a very confused red look on my face. So um... how many of your male friends have reacted this way to you? (I'm feeling a bit embarrassed just talking about this hypothetically, is that weird?)
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Post by chelseeyuh on Apr 29, 2010 20:15:25 GMT -5
Yes, I would, and do, kiss my male friends. Well that was unexspected... Well I've never seen any of the girls I know kiss their male friends, only their female friends. Maybe I just find hugging more acceptable because I commonly see it more than kissing. Kissing seems kinda intimate between man and woman or comforting between child and guardian nothing else. Kissing between two men is just gay. Between brother and sister is kinda incest. Between man and woman who are only friends is I wanna be more than friends. If you and I knew each other in real life, we're just friends, and you kissed me, you'd end up leaving me frozen unable to move or speak with a very confused red look on my face. So um... how many of your male friends have reacted this way to you? (I'm feeling a bit embarrassed just talking about this hypothetically, is that weird?) Seriously? You think a kiss on the cheek means that much? I kiss my brother. I don't think it's incestuous at all. I kiss my friends. It doesn't mean I want to be more than friends. It just means I love them :\ No one has ever reacted that way. Like you, I used to be uncomfortable being close to people, saying "I love you," etc. But once my friends did it to me, I got comfortable with it. So I guess I've never kissed a friend before they kissed me. But still, the first time a guy friend gave me a kiss on the cheek, I didn't freak out about it or freeze up or think anything of it, really.
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 30, 2010 0:52:41 GMT -5
Well that was unexspected... Well I've never seen any of the girls I know kiss their male friends, only their female friends. Maybe I just find hugging more acceptable because I commonly see it more than kissing. Kissing seems kinda intimate between man and woman or comforting between child and guardian nothing else. Kissing between two men is just gay. Between brother and sister is kinda incest. Between man and woman who are only friends is I wanna be more than friends. If you and I knew each other in real life, we're just friends, and you kissed me, you'd end up leaving me frozen unable to move or speak with a very confused red look on my face. So um... how many of your male friends have reacted this way to you? (I'm feeling a bit embarrassed just talking about this hypothetically, is that weird?) Seriously? You think a kiss on the cheek means that much? I kiss my brother. I don't think it's incestuous at all. I kiss my friends. It doesn't mean I want to be more than friends. It just means I love them :\ No one has ever reacted that way. Like you, I used to be uncomfortable being close to people, saying "I love you," etc. But once my friends did it to me, I got comfortable with it. So I guess I've never kissed a friend before they kissed me. But still, the first time a guy friend gave me a kiss on the cheek, I didn't freak out about it or freeze up or think anything of it, really. Well lets put it this way. The last girl I went out, I have no problems with hugging a friend but typically friend hugs don't last that long... at least I don't think they do. So some time before we started going out she grabbed me and gave me this really long lasting hug which was nice at first and then started feeling kinda awkward untill I finally said "Are you going to let me go any time soon." She still insists it didn't mean anything but no one has ever held me like that before. I held someone else like that once but I'd rather not talk about her. I guess it's just, if you're not use to that kinda thing happening on a day to day basis it's hard to accept that it doesn't mean anything.
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Post by bombmaniac on Apr 30, 2010 4:57:09 GMT -5
^^Manly man. Actually I Googled douchebag after all the steroids he took...i doubt he has much "manhood" left
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Post by chelseeyuh on Apr 30, 2010 17:19:52 GMT -5
I guess it's just, if you're not use to that kinda thing happening on a day to day basis it's hard to accept that it doesn't mean anything. Totally understandable, but that's more of a personal thing than a societal thing.
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Post by Jake on Apr 30, 2010 17:24:04 GMT -5
Kissing between two men is just gay. Between brother and sister is kinda incest. Between man and woman who are only friends is I wanna be more than friends. I don't agree that kissing between brother and sister is incest, because as you said before - kissing between a child and parent is fine. Although I probably wouldn't kiss my male friends, I wouldn't say that was gay, in the same way that I wouldn't say kissing a friend who is a girl means it's something morethan a friendship. But perhaps wherever you are from, there is a different culture. I can tell you that hugging is very prevalent where I'm from - regardless of any factor.
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Post by rialvestro on Apr 30, 2010 22:06:20 GMT -5
Kissing between two men is just gay. Between brother and sister is kinda incest. Between man and woman who are only friends is I wanna be more than friends. I don't agree that kissing between brother and sister is incest, because as you said before - kissing between a child and parent is fine. Although I probably wouldn't kiss my male friends, I wouldn't say that was gay, in the same way that I wouldn't say kissing a friend who is a girl means it's something morethan a friendship. But perhaps wherever you are from, there is a different culture. I can tell you that hugging is very prevalent where I'm from - regardless of any factor. There's a big difference in the child/parent and brother/sister relationship. Mainly that brother and sister are closer to the same age and anyone who doesn't know they're brother and sister would assume they were dateing. That's not really something I could see happening between a parent and child as it would be obvious that it was purely platonic.
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Post by Jake on May 1, 2010 6:18:28 GMT -5
I don't agree that kissing between brother and sister is incest, because as you said before - kissing between a child and parent is fine. Although I probably wouldn't kiss my male friends, I wouldn't say that was gay, in the same way that I wouldn't say kissing a friend who is a girl means it's something morethan a friendship. But perhaps wherever you are from, there is a different culture. I can tell you that hugging is very prevalent where I'm from - regardless of any factor. There's a big difference in the child/parent and brother/sister relationship. Mainly that brother and sister are closer to the same age and anyone who doesn't know they're brother and sister would assume they were dateing. That's not really something I could see happening between a parent and child as it would be obvious that it was purely platonic. I suppose that's a fair enough point. Perhaps it wouldn't be the same kissing a brother or sister as kissing a parent, but I wouldn't go as far as to say it was incest!
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Post by chelseeyuh on May 1, 2010 19:57:13 GMT -5
So.... are you saying it's more acceptable for people with a 20-year age gap to kiss? Am I the only one that thinks the whole "You're dating? You're old enough to be his/her parent" thing is weird? I think kissing between siblings is MUCH less weird.
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Post by rialvestro on May 1, 2010 20:45:27 GMT -5
So.... are you saying it's more acceptable for people with a 20-year age gap to kiss? Am I the only one that thinks the whole "You're dating? You're old enough to be his/her parent" thing is weird? I think kissing between siblings is MUCH less weird. Not more acceptible... just less awkward... because if you're closer to the same age and especially if you look nothing alike. (It happens some times, my brother and I look nothing alike) It's hard to tell if you're dating or not. Same thing if you're kissing someone who is just a friend. How is anyone else suppose to know what it means? If there's an age difference it's obvious that there's nothing sexual about it. Though there again I never grew up with a sister but I do feel that a simple hug is alot less awkward than a kiss.
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