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Post by Joey on Jul 3, 2010 23:15:54 GMT -5
Okay, so when is it too soon to say it to a bf/gf? And not just saying I love you, but other things. I recently told my girlfriend that she was beautiful, and she seemed kindof upset. Any personal experiences?
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Post by Lex on Jul 3, 2010 23:23:53 GMT -5
I've been able to tell my really close friends that I love them. But if it makes her uncomfortable, then I probably wouldn't do it without talking to her about it first.
I dunno.
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Post by Joey on Jul 3, 2010 23:37:21 GMT -5
I know, I will. But Im gonna wait until I see her later this week, because I want to talk to her in real life
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Philosoraptor
Moon
dangling prepositions is something up with which I shall not put
Posts: 145
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Post by Philosoraptor on Jul 3, 2010 23:42:52 GMT -5
I'd say that generally the best time to say "I love you" to another person is when you love them.
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Post by chelseeyuh on Jul 3, 2010 23:43:54 GMT -5
I'd say that generally the best time to say "I love you" to another person is when you love them. this If you're unsure, it's probably not a good idea.
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Post by Joey on Jul 3, 2010 23:50:14 GMT -5
I know, and I don't think I love her yet. It's over used I think. I like her more than I have ever liked anyone else, and I think I will love her when she feels loved
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Post by chelseeyuh on Jul 3, 2010 23:57:06 GMT -5
I don't think I love her yet 1.) You're right; you don't. You're 14. Teenagers are incapable of love. 2.) Love can't rely on how the other person feels 3.) You shouldn't like to your girlfriend.
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Post by Lex on Jul 4, 2010 0:10:07 GMT -5
1.) You're right; you don't. You're 14. Teenagers are incapable of love. Gee thanks.
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Post by Joey on Jul 4, 2010 0:14:14 GMT -5
I don't think I love her yet 1.) You're right; you don't. You're 14. Teenagers are incapable of love. 2.) Love can't rely on how the other person feels 3.) You shouldn't like to your girlfriend. 1.lie. I can love my parets, in regards to relationship love, it's possible, but rare. 2.I meant that I wouldn't say it until she is ready 3.what?
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Post by chelseeyuh on Jul 4, 2010 0:19:10 GMT -5
1.) You're right; you don't. You're 14. Teenagers are incapable of love. Gee thanks. That was a joke... mostly... I don't think 13/14/15-year-olds can be in love.. Mayyybe when you're 18 or 19.. You can love people, but not be in love. Joey, the 3rd should have said "lie" not "like." It's 1AM. I can't type
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Post by Lex on Jul 4, 2010 0:48:11 GMT -5
That was a joke... mostly... I don't think 13/14/15-year-olds can be in love.. Mayyybe when you're 18 or 19.. You can love people, but not be in love. I don't register a difference other than sexual and romantic feelings.
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Post by Breepop on Jul 4, 2010 2:15:19 GMT -5
I recently told my girlfriend that she was beautiful, and she seemed kindof upset. wat
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Post by Lex on Jul 4, 2010 2:30:32 GMT -5
I recently told my girlfriend that she was beautiful, and she seemed kindof upset. fix'd
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Yokailo
Star
[AWD:020307]
I like things.
Posts: 734
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Post by Yokailo on Jul 4, 2010 3:48:13 GMT -5
..Why would she be upset if you tell her she's beautiful? The only plausible reason for that is if she feels guilty for not being so amazing to you, but of course we don't know.
Other than that: When in doubt, don't say you love her. When you're absolutely sure, there should be no problem, as you're just telling the truth.
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Post by rialvestro on Jul 4, 2010 5:03:47 GMT -5
I know, I will. But Im gonna wait until I see her later this week, because I want to talk to her in real life This is a really good idea. Personal conversations like that are always better to have in person. On a side note, I really can't say why she reacted that way. Maybe there's something connected with her past or the way you said it that reminded her of something else. It may not of been a reaction to you personally. As for the whole "I love you" thing. The first thing to realize is that "I love you" has more than one meaning. The fact that you're dating at all means you love each other but exactly how deeply that love goes, that's more complicated. "I love you" could mean either one "I care about you" or "I am in love with you" the second one takes longer. Just be sure that if you're going to say "I love you" that the other person knows what it means and that they're comfortable saying it that way. If not then use the "I care about you" instead until you know for sure that it's deeper than that. When you get to the point that there is no doubt in your mind that you are in love with this person, that's when you should tell them "I am in love with you" or "I love you." Saying "I love you" really isn't just about weather or not you are truly in love with another person. As long as they understand that you can say it. It's only bad to say if they think it has a deeper meaning than the one you intended. It just depends on who you say it to.
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Post by Joey on Jul 4, 2010 11:17:28 GMT -5
Okay. I know Chelsea, it's hard to type when you are tired.
I'm pretty sure I know why. She was adopted, and she has told me that she has dificulties with her dad. She feels like he dosent love her as much as he loves his birth kids. I told her that he dies, but you know, she's kindof stuck in teenage emotion problems. She kindof has low self esteem, and I think that when I called her that, she thought it wasn't true, and didnt like me saying it. But I've noticed that she is getting out of a funk. And I think that she is realizing that she is.
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Yokailo
Star
[AWD:020307]
I like things.
Posts: 734
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Post by Yokailo on Jul 4, 2010 11:26:41 GMT -5
Okay. I know Chelsea, it's hard to type when you are tired. I'm pretty sure I know why. She was adopted, and she has told me that she has dificulties with her dad. She feels like he dosent love her as much as he loves his birth kids. I told her that he dies, but you know, she's kindof stuck in teenage emotion problems. She kindof has low self esteem, and I think that when I called her that, she thought it wasn't true, and didnt like me saying it. But I've noticed that she is getting out of a funk. And I think that she is realizing that she is. Oh. Low self-esteem can do that to people, it's true. It's happened to me, too (I was in your girlfriend's position, not the adopted-thing, but the emotionproblem-thing). It could get a little like that again if you want to tell her you love her, though. Even a little more, I suppose. But then you'd have to explain her that that has nothing to do with her dad or you feeling bad for her or anything, just that it's the truth. Unless it isn't.
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Post by Joey on Jul 4, 2010 11:32:58 GMT -5
Okay. I know Chelsea, it's hard to type when you are tired. I'm pretty sure I know why. She was adopted, and she has told me that she has dificulties with her dad. She feels like he dosent love her as much as he loves his birth kids. I told her that he dies, but you know, she's kindof stuck in teenage emotion problems. She kindof has low self esteem, and I think that when I called her that, she thought it wasn't true, and didnt like me saying it. But I've noticed that she is getting out of a funk. And I think that she is realizing that she is. Oh. Low self-esteem can do that to people, it's true. It's happened to me, too (I was in your girlfriend's position, not the adopted-thing, but the emotionproblem-thing). It could get a little like that again if you want to tell her you love her, though. Even a little more, I suppose. But then you'd have to explain her that that has nothing to do with her dad or you feeling bad for her or anything, just that it's the truth. Unless it isn't. well it depends on the way u use it. If wanting the best for her, willing to do anything for her, wanting to spend time with her, having a feeling that only happens when you talk to her, if that's love, then yes.. But if you mean a love like married people have then no. You have that kind of love only once, and it takes longer to find
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Post by chelseeyuh on Jul 4, 2010 12:18:01 GMT -5
When you said you were going to talk to her later this week, I thought you meant you wanted to say it.
And it's nice that you want to make her feel better about herself, but that's the kind of thing that she needs to do for herself. If she relies on your liking her to feel good about herself, she'll feel worse when you break up. And really, they're just words. Saying it wouldn't make as much of a difference as if you showed her that you cared about her and make her feel it. Actions speak louder than words.
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Post by neilgdickson on Jul 5, 2010 2:36:57 GMT -5
This may be lousy advice, but since saying "I love you" or some variant thereof has immediately ended almost every not-quite-relationship I've ever had, I'd recommend that you don't say "I love you" unless/until she says it. Girls really seem to hate it when I tell them I love them, and they seem to think I'm some sort of creep for loving them, so they tend to avoid me afterwards.
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